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This is always a hard part of the year for me as my dad passed away on October 30th, 2005. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember being out for Halloween and getting a message from my mom to come to the hospital. I remember my brother picking me up. I remember getting to the hospital and seeing my mom, who upon seeing me and my brother, just shook her head. I remember screaming out loud and crying and not understanding what had happened and why. I remember seeing him lying on the hospital bed and saying our last goodbyes. I remember getting home and the confusion of what to do next. I remember having to tell my other brother, who lived in Japan, that dad had died. I remember worrying about my mom and what was going to happen next. It is all still so vivid for me. But through all of that pain, you move on. You get through it. You miss them. You remember them. But you move on knowing that is what they would want.

I came across this today. It was the email I sent to my Uncle who was writing the eulogy. It says it all about my dad.

Hi Uncle Glenn,

I have been thinking about my dad and what it is I would want said about him. It is so hard to narrow it down.

My dad had a great sense of humour. I looked forward to family dinners because we always had such good laughs especially at Christmas and Thanksgiving. He did enjoy laughing and had a great laugh and smile.

He had such an amazing attitude about life. The glass was always half full even when times were tough.

He was never a complainer even throughout all his health concerns. I think because he didn’t want us to worry.

He would do anything for his children and for mom and was so loyal to his friends and family.

He loved to travel. Most recently on cruises with mom but when we were younger our family vacations were so much fun. From our cockroach invested villa in Mexico to the drunken santa in Hawaii. Always great memories.

His love for his family was very apparent. He often referred to mom as the love of his life and always talked about his kids. We know how proud of all of us he was.

He always got so involved in our lives especially when we were growing up. He became the president of my gymnastics club and was always there to hold my horse at horse shows. He was always there to drive us to events if needed.

He loved spending time with all of us. I remember him playing “monster” with us as kids and as adults just making time for a lunch here and there.

He loved music. I was always surprised to hear he knew of bands that I liked that I would never have expected he would know about.

He loved our dogs. I loved the look on his face when he was caught feeding the dogs from the dinner table.

He loved wine which all of his kids inherited. And he loved good food.

He loved to read. For Christmas he was always asking for books. Autobiographies of people he thought were interesting or non fiction books that he had read about or was told about.

He loved to learn about the human body and always had a long technical medical term for every ailment I had from a stomach ache to a hang nail. When I drove him to get his pace maker he was so excited that he would be under local anesthetic so he could hear what is going on. That was pretty much the last time I saw my dad. I remember driving away and leaving him at the admitting doors. I did pick him up that day. He was so strong. Said he was fine and he probably was but he did not want me to worry about him. Again, always looking on the bright side and thinking of his family first even before himself.

I hope that gives you something to go on. This has been hard to write because it is in past tense and that does not seem right to me.

Jen

 

So it is that time of year again. Oh how I miss him. 

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