Age is an interesting thing. I got this great email forward the other day whichdescribed our views on aging at certain parts of our lives (apparently it was from George Carlin). When we are younger we can’t wait to get older. You are 6 and a half. Never just 6. We “gonna be” 16, we “become” 21. And then as we get older things change. We “turn” 30, we are “pushing” 40, we “reach” 50, we “hit” 70. Then it comes full circle again. You are 100 and a half. The milestone is something to be proud of and excited about again. When we are young we embrace aging but as we get older it becomes harder for us to accept it.
I have been thinking a lot about age lately as I am about to turn 35. The big bad number that now means I am going to be on the otherside and “pushing” 40 instead of being in my early 30’s. I have never had a hard time with birthdays. I have always felt I get better with age. I really know who I am as a person. I am confident in my career. I am surrounded by people who mean the world to me. But turning 35 has thrown me for a loop. I have almost everything I always thought I would have at this stage in my life except for the partner in life and a family of my own. For the first time in my life, I started to question who I am and I really did become a shell of my usual self. I went through the motions of day to day life. I just wasn’t my normally happy self. I let turning 35 get to me.
It seems ridiculous that something like a birthday can have that affect but I guess it happens quite often. I talked to a friend of mine who said she went through the same thing. A sort of taking stalk of where your life is at and where you thought your life would be at. And apparently it happens again at 40. Yah! Something to look forward to!
I have to say though, through this self examination has come some clarity for me. That it doesn’t matter where I thought my life would be at this age but that I am happy with who I am at this moment. That as long as I believe in myself, that all good things will come. I will have all my dreams come true!
So from now on I am not going to say that I am “turning” 35. I am going to “become” 35! I am going to embrace this age and where I am in my life and be thankful for everything I have.