Category Archives: Baby

The first weeks of parenthood!

20 Tuesday Aug 2013

Posted by in Baby, Parenthood

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Since I had a C-section, Jack and I stayed in the hospital for a couple of days. They wanted me to stay one more night but at this point, I just wanted to go home, so I was able to get discharged one day early. Bringing Jack home was scary. The fact that they just give you this small, helpless little human who is your sole responsibility is terrifying. There is so much preparation for the birth that the next steps are almost an afterthought. You get home and you’re like, now what?

Those first couple days were brutal. Although Jack slept a lot he also cried a lot especially at night. Now I realize he had that whole daytime/nighttime confusion thing but at the time I couldn’t figure out why he was crying. We tried everything. It killed me that I couldn’t find a way to comfort him. I also think the little monkey was hungry because my milk hadn’t come in yet. The frustrating thing about C-sections is that your milk tends to take longer to come in (which we weren’t told about until after a couple of days).

In those first few days, I was what you call a zombie mom. I hadn’t slept for ages. I had been up for 40 hours in labour and then didn’t sleep much in the hospital so by the time we got home, I was an emotional mess. Going through the motions but barely coping. Dave was a great help, taking Jack as much as possible so I could get some sleep here and there.

Jack had lost a bit of weight after being born (12%) and the next two weeks, were constant visits to our midwife to get weighed and to see our progress. We were on a 3hr feeding schedule. I would breastfeed then hand Jack off to Dave who would feed him a bottle of the breast milk I was able to pump from the prior feed, then I would go pump. After the breast milk bottle, Dave would bottle feed him formula. Basically by the time we were done all of this, the whole process began again. It was exhausting. I never knew how excited I would be to see the pump filling up which meant my milk was finally coming in. Jack started to gain weight and by 2 weeks my milk was in and we have been exclusively breastfeeding him since.

I cried all the time in the early days. I cried when I was happy, tired, frustrated, overwhelmed and sad. All the time. I remember taking Jack out for a walk on day 5 and I started to cry because we were taking him for a walk for the first time. Eventually those tears went away though as my hormones leveled out.

Dave going back to work was hard on me (again I cried) because I had his support for the last 2 weeks and all of a sudden I was supposed to do this on my own? What? But I managed. I really wanted to take this time to figure this motherhood thing out. I didn’t ask for much help. I just wanted to spend this time with Jack and find my footing. Well when I say, I didn’t ask for much help, I mean I didn’t ask for much help physically but I was constantly reaching out to my mom friends for advice and support. The best part of my day was having Dave come home. Not because I wasn’t managing but I loved watching him spend time with Jack and it gave me a much needed break.

Those first weeks flew by. We were really lucky to have some nice weather at the end of March so we were able to get out for walks a lot. Jack didn’t much like going out in the bassinet though. He had to be asleep or he would cry. I got caught in the mall once when he would just not stop crying. I was trying my best to get to the Sears changing room so I could feed him as I knew that would stop the tears. Someone actually had the nerve to come up to me and tell me I was suffocating my baby. Excuse me? She was lucky I didn’t punch her in the face but I knew me getting angry would not help Jack calm down so I just calmly told her to walk away. It still makes me mad to think about.

I think Dave and I found our footing pretty quickly and Jack thrived.  It’s amazing how you just adapt to this new life and you figure it all out. My favourite moments in the early days were breastfeeding Jack as I just felt such a connection with him, having him sleep on me which just made my heart explode and watching Dave interact with Jack. Pure love.

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Parenting isn’t easy. Parenting a newborn is downright hard! If there is one thing I will say as advice for new parents (which was advice given to me), is those first few weeks and even few months, it’s all about survival. Do what it takes to get through it and you will. And trust your instincts, they won’t lead you astray!

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Photo credit: Alison Lewis

This baby is coming…. am I ready?

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Baby

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Now that I am well into the third trimester, this baby thing is becoming real. In our baby class we are going through the labour stages and the different options out there for pain management. I am nervous about labour but I know this baby is coming out one way or the other. I am more nervous about what happens after the baby is born.

I have held babies but have never been around one for long periods of time. Never babysat a child under the age of 5. Never changed a diaper. And now my husband and I are going to be responsible for this little guy all on our own? Like immediately?

It’s terrifying. People keep telling me that your instincts just kick in which for our babies sake, I am hoping that is true. As the babies birth approaches, it seems I have been Googling the most simple of things. How to change a diaper, how to bathe a baby, breastfeeding questions, how to get your baby to stop crying, and on and on. I feel like there is just so much I don’t know.

And then how is the relationship between my husband and I going to change? Our life together is not going to be the same and how will we react to this major change. I am lucky to have him as an amazing support and he has been my calming influence throughout this pregnancy. We are a great team. My hope is that although we will be parents, we will still be that awesome couple together who weather all storms but grow together as we raise this little boy.

I guess I just have to embrace all the fears and worries and know that we will make mistakes. That no one is perfect. Because ready or not, this baby is coming.

What I didn’t know about being pregnant

04 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Baby

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I couldn’t wait for the day that I got pregnant. Having a family was super important to me so when I finally met the Mr Right, I was super excited to start a family. But I was clueless about how many changes your body goes through and how hard being pregnant could be.

What I didn’t know about being pregnant:

  1.  I had it lucky. I did not throw up but I was unprepared for the nauseousness I did feel and how often. And they call it morning sickness? Well for me it was in the afternoons and evenings.
  2.  I had no idea how hungry I would be all the time. I could eat all day long.
  3. Who knew that although you are hungry all the time, you get full so much faster! I eat small meals and snacks all day long. I probably eat 1/2 of the amount I would have pre pregnancy.
  4. I was unprepared for how anxious I would be. The first trimester I was a mess of worry. Worrying about how this baby was developing and if something was going to happen. I am 38 after all and based on everything I read, the odds seemed to be against us. When I finally had the NT scan done and everything looked good was when I first started to relax and actually enjoy being pregnant. Now I worry about not feeling the baby move enough or what labour is really going to be like etc. I guess the worrying doesn’t really every stop does it?
  5. I didn’t realize how upset I would be with my changing body. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to be having this baby and to be carrying him but as someone who works out a lot, it was hard to see the numbers on the scale go up and up and up.
  6. I didn’t know how puffy I would get. My face is puffy. My hands are puffy. My wedding rings stopped fitting a month ago. I bought a cheap ring to wear on my wedding finger to tie me over until they fit again. They will fit again, right?
  7.  I didn’t know about all the aches and pains. I know people talk about back pain so I was expecting that but the cramps, the sharp pains and hip pains. Clueless. A heating pad and hot water bottle have been my friend throughout my pregnancy.
  8. My feet grew. My shoes are all tighter than normal and I hear they might not go back to the size they were before. Um, do you know how many pairs of shoes I own?
  9. I expected I would have to go to the bathroom all the time but I didn’t realize how much.
  10. Flatulence. My husband has just gotten used to the fact that I have no control over this. I had no idea this was a part of pregnancy.
  11. I had heard that people love to rub your belly but come on? Why do people feel that it is ok to touch your belly? I guess I just assumed people would ask. They don’t.
  12. I knew my boobs would get big but I didn’t expect this.
  13. What’s up with that brown line on my belly? Common yes? Did I have a clue? No.
  14. Everyone has an opinion on everything from what you should or shouldn’t eat to how you should raise your child.
  15. I didn’t realize that I would become a person without an identity. I feel like I am a vessel for grandchildren etc.
  16. I was so excited to finally feel the baby move but then was completely weirded out at the same time. What… their is actually a little person in there? It is trippy! There really is no feeling like it.
  17. I expected to crave pickles and ice cream. I haven’t had any cravings at all despite wanting to eat all the time. And I haven’t had any food aversions either. Well, I am not a fan of yoghurt right now but was I ever really?
  18. There really is something about this nesting phase. I became a woman obsessed with getting the nursery ready and preparing for his arrival.
  19. I had no idea that I would cry all the time. My poor husband. I will cry at anything. I will start to laugh and then start to cry. Anything can set me off. I have cried more in the last couple months than I have for the last couple years.
  20. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to move. I mean it makes sense but I consider myself a fit and flexible person but add a bowling ball on your belly and being fit means nothing. Getting up. Putting on shoes. Shaving your legs. Rolling over. Walking upstairs. All have become incredibly difficult.
  21. There is no way around it. At some point, you will start to waddle. And there is no way to make it look cute.
  22. My belly itches. It totally makes sense when you think about it. Skin stretching and all of that. Moisturizing is key! But don’t be fooled into thinking lubing up will prevent stretch marks. If you are going to get them, you are going to get them. None of those miracle creams will help. They will help with the itchiness though.
  23. The one most common thing people ask you when you are pregnant “How are you feeling?”
  24. Your hair gets awesome when pregnant. Thicker and shinier. Seriously rock it!
  25. I didn’t realize how all consuming being pregnant is. It is really hard to concentrate on anything else. I am constantly thinking about the baby and all the things left to do and about the birth and what will happen when we take the baby home.
  26. Baby brain is fact and not just an excuse.
  27. There are a few TMI facts about pregnancy that I am not going to mention, but those who have been pregnant or are pregnant will know what I am talking about. Who knew?

There is so much going on during pregnancy. When one symptom disappears, another one appears but the thought of meeting this little guy at the end of the day, far outweighs all the discomfort and pain along the way.  In just 12 weeks, I could have this little bundle of joy in my arms. That will be worth it.