Tag Archives: pregnancy

My Birth Story – Take 2

04 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by in Baby, Parenthood

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I guess you could say our mission for this birth beyond a healthy baby and healthy momma was a VBAC. We unfortunately had to have a csection with Jack and although the recovery was tough, I did recover quite quickly. But now we had a 23 month old running around and that same recovery would be a lot more difficult. Not being able to pick him up And cuddle him as he was used to would have made me so sad. Not to mention the practical things like being able to drive him to daycare would mean Dave taking a lot more time off with which just wasn’t feasible. 

We had a VBAC consultation and we were given about a 60% success of being able to have one. My age played a factor as well as how things went with the delivery of Jack which was 40 hours of labour and only got to 6cm dilated. They recommended scheduling a csection for our due date and see what happens prior to. If we went into labour naturally… Great! If not, they didn’t want me going over 40 weeks so that’s when we would have the csection. Our midwives agreed with the approach and so the waiting began! Would I go into labour naturally?

Well we certainly helped things along. Acupuncture and membrane sweeps were undertaken and a week prior to my due date my water broke at about 2:30am. 

I ended up having to go into into the hospital right away for antibiotics so I called my mom who came over to look after Jack. This was about 5am.  I was pretty emotional. Not about the impending birth but leaving Jack and not knowing how long it would be until I saw him again. 

After our first round of antibiotics we were allowed to go back home so we saw Jack off to daycare and 4 hours later went back to the hospital. My contractions at this point were about 5 1/2 min apt but I was working for them. Lunging and hip shaking. As soon as I stopped, they stalled. At the hospital I was about 10 min apart again and only 1 cm dilated. This was very reminiscent of labour with Jack and after a consult with the OB,we decided to induce. At this point, I wasn’t optimistic about having a VBAC. And to top it all off, Jack was sent home sick and I was so sad I couldn’t be there for him. Every time I talked about him I started to cry. 

 I had decided early on that I would see how far I could go without the epidural. I really don’t know why I waited so long again. I had one contraction that literally brought me to tears and I was calling for the drugs! I was able to get it pretty fast but really it was probably an hour before I was pain free. Again, I curse myself for waiting so long!! 

They finally reexamined me again after the epidural was in place and I was 7cm! I actually couldn’t believe it because after all I went through with Jack, I wasn’t convinced my body could do it naturally. At this point I really felt like the VBAC was going to happen!! Now to just sit back and relax while the epidural took the pain away and I dilated the rest of the way! 

2 hours later I was ready to start pushing! It was kind of a weird thing. Pushing and not really knowing what was happening. Thank goodness I had my doula, midwife and the nurses who were amazing coaches and of course Dave who was a constant support. 

After about 30 min, they realized the baby was ROP so they called the OB to see if they could turn the baby. The next 45 min were a blur. Pushing, then trying to turn the baby, the extreme pain, then the vacuum, more pain, me saying I couldn’t do this, people multiplying in the room. Every time I opened my eyes there were more nurses. I think there were 4 nurses, 2 OB’s, a midwife, our doula and Dave. I feel like there were more people too but I found it all so overwhelming so kept my eyes closed. 

Everyone was amazing though. All the voices telling me I could do it and to not give up. Because I wanted to give up but I also wanted it to be over so every time they told me to push, I pushed despite the pain and the voices in my head saying “stop”!

I remember my doula kept saying to look your baby is being born but Until I felt them put him on my chest I didn’t believe it was close to being over. 

And then we had this beautiful little boy. What a moment. Seeing him on my chest and seeing his perfect little face. And it made all the pain worth it. I didn’t get to experience this moment with Jack so it was a cherished one indeed. Cole Griffin Ryan was born at 7:30pm on February 18th.

Dave and I both got to do skin to skin with him and before we knew it we were heading up stairs for the night. We had done it! And our little family was now complete. 

I laugh now as they were cleaning up Cole and instead of basking in the moment I said that I would never do that again and had the room laughing. Of course I was thrilled by our little boy but I wasn’t prepared for that kind of pain and am quite content to never go through that again. We have a fabulous family of four and I couldn’t ask for anything more. 

I experienced two very different births.  And have two amazing little boys to show for it. Life is good. 

This baby is coming…. am I ready?

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Baby

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Now that I am well into the third trimester, this baby thing is becoming real. In our baby class we are going through the labour stages and the different options out there for pain management. I am nervous about labour but I know this baby is coming out one way or the other. I am more nervous about what happens after the baby is born.

I have held babies but have never been around one for long periods of time. Never babysat a child under the age of 5. Never changed a diaper. And now my husband and I are going to be responsible for this little guy all on our own? Like immediately?

It’s terrifying. People keep telling me that your instincts just kick in which for our babies sake, I am hoping that is true. As the babies birth approaches, it seems I have been Googling the most simple of things. How to change a diaper, how to bathe a baby, breastfeeding questions, how to get your baby to stop crying, and on and on. I feel like there is just so much I don’t know.

And then how is the relationship between my husband and I going to change? Our life together is not going to be the same and how will we react to this major change. I am lucky to have him as an amazing support and he has been my calming influence throughout this pregnancy. We are a great team. My hope is that although we will be parents, we will still be that awesome couple together who weather all storms but grow together as we raise this little boy.

I guess I just have to embrace all the fears and worries and know that we will make mistakes. That no one is perfect. Because ready or not, this baby is coming.

What I didn’t know about being pregnant

04 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Baby

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I couldn’t wait for the day that I got pregnant. Having a family was super important to me so when I finally met the Mr Right, I was super excited to start a family. But I was clueless about how many changes your body goes through and how hard being pregnant could be.

What I didn’t know about being pregnant:

  1.  I had it lucky. I did not throw up but I was unprepared for the nauseousness I did feel and how often. And they call it morning sickness? Well for me it was in the afternoons and evenings.
  2.  I had no idea how hungry I would be all the time. I could eat all day long.
  3. Who knew that although you are hungry all the time, you get full so much faster! I eat small meals and snacks all day long. I probably eat 1/2 of the amount I would have pre pregnancy.
  4. I was unprepared for how anxious I would be. The first trimester I was a mess of worry. Worrying about how this baby was developing and if something was going to happen. I am 38 after all and based on everything I read, the odds seemed to be against us. When I finally had the NT scan done and everything looked good was when I first started to relax and actually enjoy being pregnant. Now I worry about not feeling the baby move enough or what labour is really going to be like etc. I guess the worrying doesn’t really every stop does it?
  5. I didn’t realize how upset I would be with my changing body. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to be having this baby and to be carrying him but as someone who works out a lot, it was hard to see the numbers on the scale go up and up and up.
  6. I didn’t know how puffy I would get. My face is puffy. My hands are puffy. My wedding rings stopped fitting a month ago. I bought a cheap ring to wear on my wedding finger to tie me over until they fit again. They will fit again, right?
  7.  I didn’t know about all the aches and pains. I know people talk about back pain so I was expecting that but the cramps, the sharp pains and hip pains. Clueless. A heating pad and hot water bottle have been my friend throughout my pregnancy.
  8. My feet grew. My shoes are all tighter than normal and I hear they might not go back to the size they were before. Um, do you know how many pairs of shoes I own?
  9. I expected I would have to go to the bathroom all the time but I didn’t realize how much.
  10. Flatulence. My husband has just gotten used to the fact that I have no control over this. I had no idea this was a part of pregnancy.
  11. I had heard that people love to rub your belly but come on? Why do people feel that it is ok to touch your belly? I guess I just assumed people would ask. They don’t.
  12. I knew my boobs would get big but I didn’t expect this.
  13. What’s up with that brown line on my belly? Common yes? Did I have a clue? No.
  14. Everyone has an opinion on everything from what you should or shouldn’t eat to how you should raise your child.
  15. I didn’t realize that I would become a person without an identity. I feel like I am a vessel for grandchildren etc.
  16. I was so excited to finally feel the baby move but then was completely weirded out at the same time. What… their is actually a little person in there? It is trippy! There really is no feeling like it.
  17. I expected to crave pickles and ice cream. I haven’t had any cravings at all despite wanting to eat all the time. And I haven’t had any food aversions either. Well, I am not a fan of yoghurt right now but was I ever really?
  18. There really is something about this nesting phase. I became a woman obsessed with getting the nursery ready and preparing for his arrival.
  19. I had no idea that I would cry all the time. My poor husband. I will cry at anything. I will start to laugh and then start to cry. Anything can set me off. I have cried more in the last couple months than I have for the last couple years.
  20. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to move. I mean it makes sense but I consider myself a fit and flexible person but add a bowling ball on your belly and being fit means nothing. Getting up. Putting on shoes. Shaving your legs. Rolling over. Walking upstairs. All have become incredibly difficult.
  21. There is no way around it. At some point, you will start to waddle. And there is no way to make it look cute.
  22. My belly itches. It totally makes sense when you think about it. Skin stretching and all of that. Moisturizing is key! But don’t be fooled into thinking lubing up will prevent stretch marks. If you are going to get them, you are going to get them. None of those miracle creams will help. They will help with the itchiness though.
  23. The one most common thing people ask you when you are pregnant “How are you feeling?”
  24. Your hair gets awesome when pregnant. Thicker and shinier. Seriously rock it!
  25. I didn’t realize how all consuming being pregnant is. It is really hard to concentrate on anything else. I am constantly thinking about the baby and all the things left to do and about the birth and what will happen when we take the baby home.
  26. Baby brain is fact and not just an excuse.
  27. There are a few TMI facts about pregnancy that I am not going to mention, but those who have been pregnant or are pregnant will know what I am talking about. Who knew?

There is so much going on during pregnancy. When one symptom disappears, another one appears but the thought of meeting this little guy at the end of the day, far outweighs all the discomfort and pain along the way.  In just 12 weeks, I could have this little bundle of joy in my arms. That will be worth it.